The fiddler reveals his darkest secrets…
(Found by Gesine Riech and translated by Hildebjørg Haugan and Tessa La.)
We tried to get an interview with you right after you won the Norwegian national ESC-final last year. Your manager said that they would probably try to make an appointment, but somehow we never got an interview. Did you hear anything about the interview?
No, and that is one reasons why I have changed manager. I was also scheduled to perform at a children’s festival. Suddenly it was gone from the calendar, and when I asked why, I was told that they would not have me after all. I called them to check, and was told that they wanted me, but that 200 000 NOK was too much for them. It’s okay that people are megalomaniac, but not that they are dishonest. I become directly evil when I do not get what I want…
Evil? Define evil, eh, please?
It is more proper to say I become like a spoiled little child. Prior to the ESC this year, NRK and my former management decided that I should fly down to the stage. I did not want to do that. When I got zero response to my complaints, I chose rather to go to VG [newspaper] and tell that they wanted me to fly. Thus, the news was released, so they had to drop the idea. But it sucks that I need to burn bridges to get what I want.
So as we thought, you were never asked for the FHM interview. We suspected so when you said in a portrait interview with Dagbladet [newspaper] that what you liked the most to read was the FHM …
The good thing about FHM, is that I do not feel so alone. It shows that there are more who think like me, in terms of that it is possible to honor the opposite sex.
Eh, all right! But the manager you have now wanted to read through our questions before we got this agreement confirmed. Is it time to take back control again, Rybak?
Oh no. It is only about being prepared. I like to manipulate the media. I know that instead of babbling about that my new video is amazing, it’s much better to say it was fun to record the video where I cried over the girl I never had. Then it will end up on the front page, and then people will read about the video. People want some dirt.
What do you expect to be asked?
Actually, I feel that I am now in the enemy camp. There are many men who are anti-Rybak. I’m on the edge of being a bit feminine.
You may not be so feminine with that cast on your arm. What happened?
I was a little annoyed during a sound check, and hit the wall.
Will you hit us if we ask you the wrong questions?
No, fortunately I don’t hit people.
Are you a self-harmer, Rybak?
If so, the self-harming is that I push the girls away from me by being too much. That is self-harming.
Speaking of girls, we dare claim that you are the most girl crazy man in the country. Comment?
I HAVE to find a girl I can follow from the teens. I’m going to be Jan Thomas* if I’m single when I’m 40, except that I go for girls. Then I would find me a girl who easily could have been my daughter. It HAS to start young and innocent.
[*Jan Thomas is a Norwegian fashion and beauty expert, who is gay and married to a man who is 20 years younger than him.]
Eh, exactly … You like them young and untouched?
They may well have had ten boyfriends prior to me, but I want to show them the world and create our own universe. But now I talk like Morten Harket…
How many women did you pull before the ESC?
How many I went to bed with?
There were virtually none. When I was young there were many girls who pretended to be in love with me, so I had hopes. Afterwards, they could laugh about me with the other guys. So it took me many years before I thought that a girl could actually like me.
You had your debut as a very young? A Ukrainian newspaper hinted about it…
16 is not that young. You really must not rely on the Eastern European media. They love to write rumors about me. My first kiss, however, I received from Maria, which is one of my three violinists. There is chaos in that yard. Or no, it is not.
It has been?
No, it’s been quiet. So far. My official role is to please them all. And I mean not to invite them home to me every other night, but to ensure that they are not enemies.
But unofficially you invite them home every other night?
No. I stick to one, at a time.
How many women do you pull now?
I really don’t want to answer that question, because I want a girl who stays the night to feel special.
Haha! That is what we all say when we hook up a girl.
Yes, but I want them to continue feeling that.
Have you received any rude offers?
I’ve got a lot of panties. And once when I was in Russia, 8 girls stood outside the hotel door. As soon as I opened the door, they flashed their tits. That doesn’t mean I did something with them because of that.
Do you have a stalker here at home?
Yes. And I had not much sense for them, until I realized that I was one of them myself. I’m like that when I’m in love, and it is not going so well.
What is the most “over the edge” you have received by mail or MMS?
I haven’t got any photos of someone who has cut themself or anything like that.
We thought more like sexual things .
I receive some of that too. But It’s much nicer when the girls sends pictures of the entire body, rather than that they only send pictures of their genitals.
You get a lot of that too?
Yes, and it is a little too much.
Are you saving the photos?
Sometimes. But if it’s too much over the edge, I delete it.
Which celebrity ladies could you have got, if you had taken advantage of the opportunity?
If I could pick and choose, it would be Natalie Portman. She is in a league of her own.
Should we instead try a Norwegian?
Well … I’ve got no chance with her, but maybe Ingrid Berg Melhus? (The inspiration behind the “Fairytale” ed.) She has become a little celebrity now. But apart from that. I know Aylar, and I get excited by talking to her. She is so entertaining and smart. Otherwise it is probably some Miss Norway participant. They either should look young, or be young.
You have played at parties with the new rich Russians and Ukrainians. Is it tempting to be a Russian oligarch-gangster with your own army?
No, but it’s cool with the guards. At one of the parties there was a guy who attacked me with a baseball bat and hit me in the knee. When that happened it didn’t take long before the guards took action …
How are these lavish parties?
They are adults. They are like *Petter Stordalen’s parties in a way.
*(Petter Stordal is a Norwegian who owns a lot of hotels)
You collapsed on Facebook the other day – how often you do you break down?
It’s very up and down. It’s often happens when I’m alone, so I should have someone there with me. And it’s stupid that I am alone with internet, because of it some strange things might happen.
Tell us a little about what you’ve treated yourself with after you became rich and famous?
I have bought an apartment at Aker Brygge. And then I bought a stereo with TV.
And the price?
The apartment cost around 5 million. The stereo with TV was about 80,000,- (Norwegian crowns).
Is it true that you had a kind of gold-plated machine gun, a gift from your Russian label?
It was a Kalashnikov filled with vodka. They like to be creative in Eastern Europe, you know.
Is it true that you are one of the few in this world who have what is called absolute pitch? You can, for example, recognize a tone if we clinck on a cup of coffee?
Yes, actually. There are not many who has that. So far I have only met one person who has the equivalent.
We will finish off with some girl talk again, dear Don Juan. Are there someone you want us to introduce you to? Triana, Ann Mari, Linnie…
Believe it or not, but I know them from before. And FHM girls are really not my type of girls. I like them a little more shy. And the more a girl turns me down, the more I become interested ….
We got an idea here: You seem like a cool guy, even if you are a little crazy. And our editor will be out in paternity soon. Keen to be his substitute?
If I’m allowed to work one day every other month… But what does an editor do? Who dress on and off these poor girls?
It guess you are to decide that, if you become an editor…
That I can do anyway, really. But if I had been the editor, I would have had a lot of Steiner school girls on the cover, who were talking about dogs and curved lines and stuff. The most important thing is that they look nice…
And what other than the Steiner school girls, would you post on the front page?
Marianne Aulie. But only because of her butt. It’s the butt that is important ..
Now we’re talking the same language, brother. Then to something less pleasant. What is your darkest side?
That I will never forgive.
Not if anyone has done me harm, no.